Dear Rev. Karla, you are a much needed voice today. And, you are helping everyone to see what is happening in our society, not just in our churches. What you are going through, in your deconstruction, is part of what the whole world now is experiencing in its transformation. There’s no worry that anyone or group will end up on the top of a future hierarchy. Instead, everyone will be sovereign to make decisions and find their own truths. Instead of a societal pyramid, we’ll have a societal circle. It will take years to get there, because first, all of the structure that is now rotting away and falling will need to become rubble under our feet. But, you are part of the new vanguard, heralding the way. Thank you for your right-on perspectives and voice. 👍
Rev Karla, thank you. I would like to share some of my thoughts, and eagerly welcome your reaction, even if, especially if, you see things differently.
"Bring on the Womanocracy!" is something of a tag-phrase with me. In 2020, I started attending Episcopal churches, and felt noticeable relief to see women in many leadership positions. My first 50 years were as a distressingly by-the-book Roman Catholic, and so: no women in ordained ministry. As an Episcopalian, I still avail myself of the custom/sacrament of Reconciliation, and almost invariably prefer to have a woman as a confessor.
I want to make sure that my matriarchal leanings (if they be such!) are not a kind of romanticized pseudo-feminism, like Dante calling Beatrice "a goddess." I want to do more politically, concretely, to help erode the ghastliness of what we called "male chauvinism" in the late '70s --- a comparatively innocuous term, when one considers the threat and danger it poses. I am recovering, still, from a heap-ton of unhelpful biases and assumptions, to be sure. And while my baby steps might be better than no steps or backward steps, I'm eager to learn more, to be of ever-growing teachability and helpfulness. And amendment and apology, where that is appropriate.
Thomas, thank you for this. What I’m noticing is the primary pushback on the matriarchal framework originates from white cisgender men and women, as if that’s a shocker! Those of us who have deconstructed from some type of Christian indoctrination, in my humble opinion, should be students of those teaching the history of matriarchy — myself included. So I’ll be right alongside you, learning and then attempting to speak on it to invite others to learn from those teaching us. I see my job as a portal — help people face their indoctrinated beliefs that convinced them of their moral/spiritual superiority, then move into spaces where Black and Brown teachers are offering the wisdom we should have been listening to all along. I hope I’ve responded in a way that is helpful, but this is where your thoughtful response took me.
Thomas, I am a reader who really hears you. I too was brought up Roman Catholic, with all that goes with it. I left that Church as a young, married woman, who could no longer live an authentic life under daily religious strictures and with the Church in my bedroom. Through the years, I have deconstructed even more to the point of believing ONLY in spirituality, very much like Rev. Karla. Fortunately, my husband was right there with me. I have always felt blessed not to have raised my children in the Catholic Church, and ultimately in no Church. Spirituality is what Jesus taught…not religiosity. In my experience, it is a rare Church that even knows what spirituality is. Most of Jesus’s apostles and disciples, men, didn’t understand him, and took the Church off the rails through ensuing years. Today’s Christianity is nothing of what Jesus taught. Thank you for being true to yourself, especially as a man. May I suggest you think and pray over the concept of confession to a priest, of any gender. If God is everywhere and all-knowing, no one needs to go through an intermediary to communicate with God. You are a temple of God. All you need to do is go within yourself to commune with God and ask for forgiveness, if you need it. I send you encouragement and blessings.
Thanks. Matriarchy is a triggering word, hence it runs into instant opposition. Generally men get repulsed, seeing it as infantalism --- You want me to be my mommy's little boy again? Most men, subconsciounsly at least, spend their lives trying to feel independent and free of the confines of motherly control. This, I believe, is what we're up against.
One solution is reasonable discussion/education as you've done here. You might also want to personalize the discussion, talk about FLR (female led relationships). I love the FLR concept as a partnership with the woman essentially having veto power in decisions. This is a general recognition that in human relationship matters, women usually have a better sense of what is constructive rather than destructive.
In any case, we have a long way to go. My overall measure is the U.S. Congress. At best, women are simply tolerated now as a grudging concession. This, I believe, is reflective of the society at large. So, use that as a bellweather.
Just so you know, I've had specific experience that brings me to favor matriarchy. I've taught parenting classes in both male and female prisons. Do that a few times, and you'll soon agree, women should be leading the way!
“In any case, we have a long way to go. My overall measure is the U.S. Congress. At best, women are simply tolerated now as a grudging concession. This, I believe, is reflective of the society at large. So, use that as a bellweather.”
This powerfully illustrates why representation is more than just bodies filling seats. Patriarchy will find a way to silence voices that do not bow to the order and vision of that patriarchal structure. But I also want to acknowledge your first sentence — “Matriarchy is a triggering word…” what follows is the frank and revealing truth of the mind of men raised within patriarchy. That is the conditioning we are up against and why matriarchy feels triggering. That indoctrination will prevent even the innocuous FLR label. I do believe patriarchy is dying. Its existence relies on the cooperation of those who have suffered under its weight. What is being built now to enforce control is even more terrifying, so these conversations are urgent and essential. At least they are to me. Others might not agree.
Thank you for your input, Bill. It is quite enlightening. We, as people, need BOTH the male and female aspects of humanity. One shouldn’t be dominant over the other. Instead, they should be balanced. In our current societal transformation, I believe this is something that is changing for the balance. It will take years, but I believe each person, man, woman or other, will end up with sovereignty of person. No one ,eventually, will dominate anyone else. Meanwhile, both men and women need a lot of healing. 😊
Thank you for this. I just listened to someone yesterday who said that the Matriarchy is just as bad as the Patriarchy and it really annoyed me. I’ll be sending this to the women in my life.
Oh good Cat! The fear-mongering around matriarchy is unfounded, but you can see why. When women are in the room where decisions are being made, it changes everything -- as it should be.
Dear Rev. Karla, you are a much needed voice today. And, you are helping everyone to see what is happening in our society, not just in our churches. What you are going through, in your deconstruction, is part of what the whole world now is experiencing in its transformation. There’s no worry that anyone or group will end up on the top of a future hierarchy. Instead, everyone will be sovereign to make decisions and find their own truths. Instead of a societal pyramid, we’ll have a societal circle. It will take years to get there, because first, all of the structure that is now rotting away and falling will need to become rubble under our feet. But, you are part of the new vanguard, heralding the way. Thank you for your right-on perspectives and voice. 👍
Thank you. Your gentle voice and encouragement feel like a warm hug, and I gratefully accept it.
Rev Karla, thank you. I would like to share some of my thoughts, and eagerly welcome your reaction, even if, especially if, you see things differently.
"Bring on the Womanocracy!" is something of a tag-phrase with me. In 2020, I started attending Episcopal churches, and felt noticeable relief to see women in many leadership positions. My first 50 years were as a distressingly by-the-book Roman Catholic, and so: no women in ordained ministry. As an Episcopalian, I still avail myself of the custom/sacrament of Reconciliation, and almost invariably prefer to have a woman as a confessor.
I want to make sure that my matriarchal leanings (if they be such!) are not a kind of romanticized pseudo-feminism, like Dante calling Beatrice "a goddess." I want to do more politically, concretely, to help erode the ghastliness of what we called "male chauvinism" in the late '70s --- a comparatively innocuous term, when one considers the threat and danger it poses. I am recovering, still, from a heap-ton of unhelpful biases and assumptions, to be sure. And while my baby steps might be better than no steps or backward steps, I'm eager to learn more, to be of ever-growing teachability and helpfulness. And amendment and apology, where that is appropriate.
Thomas, thank you for this. What I’m noticing is the primary pushback on the matriarchal framework originates from white cisgender men and women, as if that’s a shocker! Those of us who have deconstructed from some type of Christian indoctrination, in my humble opinion, should be students of those teaching the history of matriarchy — myself included. So I’ll be right alongside you, learning and then attempting to speak on it to invite others to learn from those teaching us. I see my job as a portal — help people face their indoctrinated beliefs that convinced them of their moral/spiritual superiority, then move into spaces where Black and Brown teachers are offering the wisdom we should have been listening to all along. I hope I’ve responded in a way that is helpful, but this is where your thoughtful response took me.
Thomas, I am a reader who really hears you. I too was brought up Roman Catholic, with all that goes with it. I left that Church as a young, married woman, who could no longer live an authentic life under daily religious strictures and with the Church in my bedroom. Through the years, I have deconstructed even more to the point of believing ONLY in spirituality, very much like Rev. Karla. Fortunately, my husband was right there with me. I have always felt blessed not to have raised my children in the Catholic Church, and ultimately in no Church. Spirituality is what Jesus taught…not religiosity. In my experience, it is a rare Church that even knows what spirituality is. Most of Jesus’s apostles and disciples, men, didn’t understand him, and took the Church off the rails through ensuing years. Today’s Christianity is nothing of what Jesus taught. Thank you for being true to yourself, especially as a man. May I suggest you think and pray over the concept of confession to a priest, of any gender. If God is everywhere and all-knowing, no one needs to go through an intermediary to communicate with God. You are a temple of God. All you need to do is go within yourself to commune with God and ask for forgiveness, if you need it. I send you encouragement and blessings.
Thanks. Matriarchy is a triggering word, hence it runs into instant opposition. Generally men get repulsed, seeing it as infantalism --- You want me to be my mommy's little boy again? Most men, subconsciounsly at least, spend their lives trying to feel independent and free of the confines of motherly control. This, I believe, is what we're up against.
One solution is reasonable discussion/education as you've done here. You might also want to personalize the discussion, talk about FLR (female led relationships). I love the FLR concept as a partnership with the woman essentially having veto power in decisions. This is a general recognition that in human relationship matters, women usually have a better sense of what is constructive rather than destructive.
In any case, we have a long way to go. My overall measure is the U.S. Congress. At best, women are simply tolerated now as a grudging concession. This, I believe, is reflective of the society at large. So, use that as a bellweather.
Just so you know, I've had specific experience that brings me to favor matriarchy. I've taught parenting classes in both male and female prisons. Do that a few times, and you'll soon agree, women should be leading the way!
“In any case, we have a long way to go. My overall measure is the U.S. Congress. At best, women are simply tolerated now as a grudging concession. This, I believe, is reflective of the society at large. So, use that as a bellweather.”
This powerfully illustrates why representation is more than just bodies filling seats. Patriarchy will find a way to silence voices that do not bow to the order and vision of that patriarchal structure. But I also want to acknowledge your first sentence — “Matriarchy is a triggering word…” what follows is the frank and revealing truth of the mind of men raised within patriarchy. That is the conditioning we are up against and why matriarchy feels triggering. That indoctrination will prevent even the innocuous FLR label. I do believe patriarchy is dying. Its existence relies on the cooperation of those who have suffered under its weight. What is being built now to enforce control is even more terrifying, so these conversations are urgent and essential. At least they are to me. Others might not agree.
Thank you for your input, Bill. It is quite enlightening. We, as people, need BOTH the male and female aspects of humanity. One shouldn’t be dominant over the other. Instead, they should be balanced. In our current societal transformation, I believe this is something that is changing for the balance. It will take years, but I believe each person, man, woman or other, will end up with sovereignty of person. No one ,eventually, will dominate anyone else. Meanwhile, both men and women need a lot of healing. 😊
I felt all of this. The description about the scaffolding collapsing was exactly what happened for me. I do so lovr your perspective, Rev. Karla.
Sometimes I worry that my examples don't resonate, and then Cynthia comes along to affirm it. I'm so glad you're here <3
Thank you for this. I just listened to someone yesterday who said that the Matriarchy is just as bad as the Patriarchy and it really annoyed me. I’ll be sending this to the women in my life.
Please note what Rev. Karla said in regard to the Matriarchy. She does not say it should sit on top of the hierarchy as patriarchy now does.
Oh good Cat! The fear-mongering around matriarchy is unfounded, but you can see why. When women are in the room where decisions are being made, it changes everything -- as it should be.