You Are Who You’ve Been Waiting For

Seeking Wisdom Within – Acting Accordingly

This writing will be posted on the anniversary of my ordination commencement ceremony. Two days prior, I had spoken my vows in front of the staff, clergy, and fellow seminarians in a private ritual.

“…I, Karla Kamstra, vow to be a goddess of kindness and a warrior for justice.”

I had been writing my vows for weeks. Even on the day of my ordination, as we sat in our mandated silence for hours, I struggled with what I thought was the final draft. The vows felt clunky and heavy. That descriptor probably makes sense if you’ve ever tried to write something that felt off. I hoped speaking them out loud later that evening would give them the power and clarity I desired. I folded the paper, placed it in my pocket, and decided not to look at it again until the ritual later that evening.

The ordination ritual was done privately with no guests. It created a sense of sacredness as we quietly entered the room and took our seats. When the time came for us to stand and recite our vows, I retrieved the note from my pocket and glanced at the words on the paper. They still felt off–heavy and clunky. But at this point, what was to be would be. I listened intently to each of my fellow classmates stating their vows.

When my time came, I rose and went to the front to stand at the podium. I spoke the words on the paper, thinking I would say them, then quickly find my way back to my seat.

But what happened next assured me that my path–the one of deconstructing my Christian heritage without fully rejecting the possibility that something beyond our human understanding existed–was where I belonged. As I said the final words, I looked up and around at my class, and my eyes set on one person. One person whom I admired greatly for her courage and authenticity. It was as if a lightning bolt entered my brain, and the words I had been trying to find to replace what I had written were clearly in my head.

I lowered my hand holding my vows, looked straight ahead, and said the vow I shared above. Now, the three dots preceding that vow are explained.

The future started yesterday. We’re already late.

The ordination ritual will forever be etched in my memories as one of the most significant moments of my life. When I become discouraged and want to give up, I remember my vows and my “why.” The next day, as we all gathered to say our goodbyes in our final retreat together as a class, we formed a circle. One of our deans had requested that a song be played as our final song. It was John Legend’s “If You’re Out There.”

As we listened to the words of that song, we cried. We hugged. We remembered our years together. With our vows fresh in our minds, we left the retreat center and headed back to the city to meet with our families for the public celebration of our ordination that was to be held that weekend.

Now what?

The space between that day in June 2017 and today has been different for each one of my classmates. In our own way, we’re changing the world through the books we write, the songs we sing, the bodies we help release from childhood trauma, and the congregations we lead. Even within that space of people unified by the warning signs we saw of our nation in crisis, there are some who were merely playing the part of deconstructing and have become wildly MAGA, or more appropriately MAHA – both equally dangerous and wantonly ignorant.

But for most of us in that class, we’re looking around astonished that fascism strolled right in, took a seat at the head of the table and declared itself the untouchable king. He knew his base would support him, even if he “stood in the middle of 5th avenue and shot someone.”

He was right.
We knew he was right.
Many of us in that seminary class grew up listening to the sermons that taught us that, regardless of who they hurt, white Christian men are always right. There is no human to which they are accountable, and if God sees it so, they will be punished.

I searched for the leader, but the leader was me.

So here we are, in 2025, looking around for the one who will step to the podium, point us in the right way. Tell us who we are, which way to go, where to find help, how to find answers to our mountain of questions.

Still, we hear silence. Sure, there are moments of inspiration, when Bernie takes the stage. When AOC, Jasmine Crockett, Chris Murphy or Cory Booker are bold enough to call this what it is – a hostile takeover of our democracy by authoritarians who will play fiddles while the least among us suffer. We may be horrified to think of school children going hungry this summer–they see it as pocket change for their next yacht.

But, beautiful souls, I wish I could sit beside you at this point, taking your hands into mine and looking you square in the eyes as I whisper softly these words…

“You are the hero that the world is waiting for.”

You. Me. All of us, doing our part in what is quickly becoming the resistance.

The uprising.
The revolution.

Do not fear these words.
History tells us time and again that fascism dies when people rise up and says, “No more.”
And this isn’t a man-powered movement.
Women are integral to resistance.
Study history.
Like the women of the French and Russian revolutions—who marched, organized, and risked everything to feed their families and demand change—we, too, are being called to rise, not as saviors, but as everyday heroes willing to act for the good of the whole.

Some of what is to come will be centralized, but for now, for today…
Begin having conversations with people.
An inner circle–not in the sense of family inner circle, who may not be aligned with you.
People you know in your community who are deeply concerned, outspoken, calling for change.

These connections will become vital if things become worse before they get better.
We should anticipate they will.

Plan for it, and hope for the best.
Remember.
Hope is actionable.
It can’t be better until we make it so.

These conversations are intended to learn who is doing what.
Is there someone organizing protests?
Resources for children who are hungry?
Medical supplies when Medicaid is gone?
Doctors supportive of a movement who can help?
Non-profit organizations who have resources to help?

What are their qualifications for services?
Are they affiliated with political beliefs and ideologies? This question is especially important for church-run services. Expect those supportive of this regime to change their requirements (church attendance (especially children), tithing etc) in order to get services.

Mutual Aid – a massive and critical component that is best decentralized. As terrifying as it may sound, fascists will do their best to annihilate resources. They need us begging in food lines to be compliant and desperate.

And when you can, purchase an extra package of toilet paper, diapers, alcohol, etc and stockpile these necessities for you and others.

I want to remind you of this.
Preparedness empowers.
You don’t have to do everything, but the one thing you can do is uniquely your gift to the world.
I’m living my vows by using my gift of writing to inform and advocate.
I’m living my vows by working with people who are organizing.

I believe in you to be the hero that you’ve been waiting for.

I’ll now be ending my blogs with this mantra that I used in my June 8th blog. If you haven’t read it, you can find it here.

We are not powerless.
We are rooted.
This work is slow, sacred, and stronger than anything built on domination.
Let the institutions crumble if they insist on serving a tyrant.
We are building something that cannot be bought or sold.
Let the empire tremble.
We carry the holy in our hands.
We gather.
We grieve.
We guard the flame.
This is not the end.
This is the beginning of something sacred.

This is no longer about sounding the alarm.
This is about becoming the shelter.

Welcome to the Spirituality Matters Collective, Beautiful Soul.
We have much work to do, but hope is indeed rising, and you are welcomed, seen and loved.

“If you're ready we can shake the world
Believe again
It starts within
We don't have to wait for destiny
We should be the change that we want to see”
John Legend, “If You’re Out There”