Choosing Good over God

What I Discovered About Spirituality When I Left Christianity

I’ve been sharing a life-changing decision to leave my Christian heritage. After leaving church years ago, I thought I could remain tethered to that Christian heritage in a meaningful way to honor my roots and the good parts of my experience, including my Southern Baptist grandmother, who instilled in me a desire to seek something in the mystery of the Divine.

That tether didn’t hold.

I was confident I could do it, but then 2015 happened. Trump glided down an escalator like the king he wanted to be. It was a foreshadowing, wasn’t it? Because while we may be in denial about the fate of our democracy, the world isn’t.

Fascism has come to America.

The tether weakened continuously as I watched Christians with massive crosses hanging on their necks repeat Trump’s talking points rooted in white supremacy. I exhausted myself sounding the alarm that this would be bad, really bad.

Still, here we are.

And while I do think that there will be times I’ll send up a flare when something is deeply troubling (more on that coming very soon), I feel a deep desire, an inner knowing, that we:

→ focus on a new level of deconstructing.

→ claim our seat at the proverbial table of spirituality without any kind of religious folks gatekeeping our experiences.

→ work for the good of the whole to build community that builds resiliency, autonomy, and also honors those who thrive outside the walls of church.

That is the pretext for today’s writing.

As I sat thinking about the journey from questioning my faith, leaving church then ultimately leaving Christianity, I was reminded of a phrase that offends the Christian who sees nothing good coming from a life outside the God of their understanding.

That phrase is – You can be good without God.

I remember when it was a controversial issue within our community. An atheist group wanted to purchase bus advertising space with this phrase as the primary message.

Christians were outraged.

“How dare the atheists among them think that this message can be so prominently displayed!”

“It was certain to cause moral decay!”

“It’s an attack on our faith!”

It was the subject of more than one sermon in local congregations. Ultimately, the bus authority declined the advertisement, stating that it violated their policy of not allowing content that could be deemed “controversial.” The atheist group behind the bus campaign filed a lawsuit, citing discrimination against free speech due to vague advertising policies by the bus authority. Soon, buses started saying, “You can be good without God.” The city then rewrote its advertising policy to exclude all advertising deemed religious or an attack on religion, stating clearly that it would not accept ads from churches or atheist groups.

What lies beneath this story is the fear that emanates from Christians who believe their religious structure cannot withstand a belief (or in this case, non-belief) that goes against their teachings. Indoctrination is most effective when a person has been isolated from and no longer influenced by outside sources. The more reliant upon patriarchy to uphold its structure (as in high-control Christianity), the more the leaders demand obedience and submission to church authority.

Having navigated through progressive churches and finally landing in apostolic/Pentecostal church before spiraling out of church, I can certainly attest to this. Bible literalists (every word in the Bible is true) and “welcoming churches” (who aren’t really – they just know how to market to increase attendance and therefore funding for their next mega church add-on) demand that you → seek community within your “church family”

→ seek guidance from church “counselors” (none of whom carry credentials or training in this area).

→ pray for God’s direction and seek Biblical instruction for all of life’s problems.

→ do not trust anyone in the world over your church leaders, who are understood to be ordained by God to be your earthly guardian and counsel.

Some who have never experienced this type of indoctrination within Christianity would be shocked to read this. Do not make the mistake of calling them “fake Christians.” They say the same thing about you, oh progressive churches! I sat in meetings within that Pentecostal church where leaders mocked churches from other denominations. Nothing was off-limits, including smirking at some of the names of churches, even how they offered out-reach to the community.

This level of indoctrination is truly insidious.

Although there may have been some sprinkling of progressives protesting those “You can be good without God” signage, the primary outcry came from those on this side of Christianity. When you understand the control, you can understand why and perhaps can even have some level of compassion for those of us who finally escape and then deconstruct from it.

Still, even deconstructing the question of “Being Good without God” can be frightening. Those few words can send a spiritual shiver through those of us who are trying to reconcile that we can be good without going to church, let alone without the God whose wrath we felt we deserved for defying church authority.

For me, pondering this question as part of my deconstructing invited me to explore what I now believed about God. If I were rejecting the God of my Christian faith, then who, or what, was God? Even before leaving church, I thought it was silly, almost reckless, to believe God cared about giving me a premier parking space. Some might say, “Thank ya, Jesus!” when they landed that space outside Walmart’s entry doors. I would say it mockingly if I was so lucky to get that space, because I’d prefer that this God cares less about my parking problems and more about the child in the hospital suffering from cancer. Or take care of those 10,000 children who die each day from hunger. Or maybe, just maybe, give some attention to human trafficking, because there are a bunch of ruthless humans who deserve to receive punishment for the pain they are inflicting on the innocent.

I could go on, but you get the picture. High-control Christianity offers the faithful a child-like ignorance. Just believe, oh, and tithe, and the church leaders will take care of you here on earth while your riches are waiting for you in heaven. This leads to anything but critical thinking because how could someone actually believe that God cares about parking spaces while Wal-Mart employees rely on food stamps just to survive?

How in the world can this God even be called good, let alone me being good simply because I believe in him?

Once you open that Pandora’s box of critical thinking, you can’t unknow it. Can’t unsee it.

What often follows is a desire to explore the question, “Can I be good without this God?”

Then comes…

“Can I be good without a God?”

The answer is “yes, and.” At least that is true for those of us who lose our fear of exploring spirituality outside the framework of our religious heritage. That framework often said, “Read this, but not that. Listen to this preacher, but not that one. Be in community with these people, but not those people.”

But when you see that belief in and loyalty to a Christian denomination isn’t what makes us good, the fear falls away. You see the world without the filter of fear. People from different beliefs offer you a new insight into spirituality. Agnostics and atheists invite you to question everything, explore ways to connect with creation without worship of a deity. Witches and indigenous practitioners encourage you to turn back to your ancestral roots.

I’ve known the answer to the question, “Can I be good without God?” for years.

It’s a resounding, “yes.”

Now? I’m committed to a path that changes the meaning of God into something more expansive, more universal, less corporal, less rigid.

The former is the enigmatic wonder of a being or experience outside human understanding.

The latter is human-made, serving the needs of humans reliant upon power to control massive amounts of wealth. It dismisses human suffering as a by-product of this God it has created.

The latter I reject fully.
The former, I dive into its mystery daily.

Yes.
You can be good without God.
If this resonates with you, there is nothing here to fear.

Come.
Let us explore this together.